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calming
April 2009 
What area of your life could use healing right now?
Posted on Nov 19th, 2008
by 
Lynn
Lynn
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for November 19, 2008:
My relationships with loved ones. I have hurt them these past months by hurting myself. I want to help others heal, but the healing must come from within first.
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That's exactly true, Lynn. In order to love others and give your energy and attention to them in a positive way, you have to first love yourself and give yourself energy and attention in a positive way.
You might want to look at incorporating a lovingkindness meditation to your practice.
“How to do it …
The practice always begins with developing a loving acceptance of yourself. If resistance is experienced then it indicates that feelings of unworthiness are present. No matter, this means there is work to be done, as the practice itself is designed to overcome any feelings of self-doubt or negativity. Then you are ready to systematically develop loving-kindness towards others.
a respected, beloved person - such as a spiritual teacher;Four Types of Persons to develop loving-kindness towards:
a dearly beloved - which could be a close family member or friend
a neutral person - somebody you know, but have no special feelings towards(e.g.: a person who serves you in a shop);
a hostile person - someone you are currently having difficulty with.
Starting with yourself, then systematically sending loving-kindness from person to person in the above order will have the effect of breaking down the barriers between the four types of people and yourself. ”
When I do this meditation, I typically say to myself:
May I be happy
May I be healthy
May I feel loved
May I feel safe
May I be at peace
Then I focus on the four persons I've chosen to meditate on. “May you be happy, etc”.
If you Google lovingkindness meditations, you'll find all sorts of phrases that you could use in your meditation, but I've found that it works best to use phrases that are meaningful to me…and easy to remember. :)
The hardest part sometimes is focusing the meditation on ourselves. We all tend to get a little down on ourselves. It's okay. Just relax and remember that you are worthy of love and the more love you have for yourself, the more you are able to love others fully.