I was sitting writing in my journal one night pondering the question that my husband put before me, "what are you running from?'  I didn't understand what he meant until I searched deep down in my soul and found an emptiness that was so hollow that it went all the way up to my heart and and swallowed my whole existence. I have been running all my life and without avail I can not find what I am looking for.  What was I running from?  I was not running from something but running towards something larger than me, larger than this world, and larger than anything I could ever imagine.  It was God I was seeking, but not on my own.  He was calling me but I didn't know where to look for him.  I realized in that instant that he is all around me and is always with me no matter what I do.  I have been able to experience the blessings more fully that the Lord has blessed me with and I now wait to hear what my purpose is in this life.  No more running, just listening and patiently waiting for my purpose to be revealed.

As years go by we lose our childishness and take hold of our future as it presents itself in various ways.  Some will have a hard time letting go, and so they tend to live in the past when there were more glorious days.  As they do this, their future strolls on by and so they miss the now to dwell on the then.  Dwelling on things we can't change only sets us back and the time lost can rarely be recovered.  To live each day like there is no tomorrow works for only a short time, then reality sets in and we have to prepare for our future.  Taking each day as it comes is a wise choice but it takes will power and determination.  It is easy to get lost in the hustle and bustle of today and put off what will be tomorrow.  Life is faced paced and short, but when you take the time to stand still and listen to the world around you, you can see the universe as the wonderous beauty that it truly is.  Life is like a candle burning, as it burns the wick gets much smaller and eventually the light is snuffed out, but what lingers is the sweet smell that that life has given off and others can still smell the scent long after you are gone.  What we leave behind us is just as important as what we do when we are alive. When we leave this world we pass on our love, wisdom, and our memories.  There is a future and we all have somthing to leave behind.
In loving memory of my grandmother Gloria Schiller who died of cancer on November 5 2006.  She left her loved ones behind but the love and wisdom she gave will never be forgotten.  Here is my future......